BY: Reese Rodriguez
Meeting people just isn’t what it used to be, but that's okay. We need to stop turning things down because they are not what we are used to. The probability of meeting someone at a bar or out in the world are almost the same as meeting someone online, except online they know you’re single and looking for a relationship. Gone are the high school and college days where you were surrounded by young SINGLE people just like you. If your professional life is anything like mine, ignore the glam, then you too are surrounded by married, divorced, or newly engaged friends and coworkers. If you think your situation is grim consider half my clients are high school students graduating and going off to college, while the other half are people excited to get married or excited to showcase their beautiful family. I love my clients, but lets face it, dating today isn’t easy. Here are some questions a few of my girlfriends asked the other day & answers.
Q: How many pictures do I upload to my profile?
A: Three has always been my number and for the online world it works great. You want to keep it between 3 and 5. One is not enough, two creates questions on the reality of you looking like your photos, three is suffice. It says “hey, this is who I am”. Anything over five says you’re overachieving and not mysterious.
Q: What images of myself should I include?
A: The following are the types of images that we felt would be represent you and not scare men off. This also applies to men believe it or not :)
If you are doing three images follow the following format:
The Selfie:
The infamous Selfie is not overrated for online dating. Pick an honest photo of yourself that highlights your beauty. This photo is vital and should be your default to attack others. You don't want all your images to be selfies, but one is definitely a must. Also, it's a plus if you're smiling in your selfie. Known fact, you appear more attractive when you smile. It creates a sense of peace and happiness in the view and thus they think, "I want to make that person smile".
A Photo With Friends:
This photo lets them know that you have friends and can social with others. For some people wether or not you have friends is vital; however, showing that you have friends implies people like you and thus makes you more welcoming. Which is what you're trying to do when selecting photos.
The Activity Photo:
We believe it's important to let them know what you are interested in and that you do things. When you enter a relationship you're interested in meeting and getting to know who they are, but they also need to get to know you. This photo also can be a way to break the ice and a great conversation starter. If you love to travel you don't want to get involved with someone who prefers to stay at home and not invest in traveling right? I wouldn't.
Q: What should I put in my bio?
A: This part might hurt a few feelings, but I need to be honest. You should never put in your bio that you’re looking for your future husband. I know it might be what you want, but think about it from an outsider’s perspective (and yes I really mean a scared single man’s perspective); you are telling men you’ve never met or had a conversation with that you want to marry them. All they read is, “If I don’t want to marry her then I shouldn’t talk to her”. You’ve already limited the amount of men that will reach out to you by a tenth fold. Then you’re left with men who are done BSing, which isn’t many, or weird men that you probably wouldn’t go on a first day to begin with. Our advice is simple; less is more. Pretend you had just meet a guy at a bar; how would that conversation start?
My name is Reese. I am a photographer and the occasional blogger. && yes you can buy me a drink (insert winking face)
Something casual doesn’t automatically imply that you want casual, you’ll know the difference in what you want versus him within minutes. Desperation surfaces differently in online. In person it’s the guy trying to buy every girl a drink; on the other hand, it’s the woman who walks around the room “on the prowl”. With online dating, its either the person who is being completely honest, shocker I know, or the person listing everything about themselves and what they want in their mate. You don’t need to lie, but you also don’t need to unload everything in your profile. Allow there to be something to talk about during your date. :)
Q: Where should we go on our first date?
A: This is our favorite answer for online and in real life! First dates are the best and the worst; however, we can help fix that. My girlfriends and I all agree, keep the first day SUPER SIMPLE. Go for coffee, a beer, even ice cream. Forget the days of old: dinner and a movie, fancy dinner downtown, and even the elaborate concert or date that lasts 5 hours. You want easy fun dates that have an easy exit if things are not sparking up between you two. This does not mean you can’t accept an extension to the date. I’ve been on many dates that started with coffee, transitioned to dinner, and ended with great conversation and a glass of wine. Keeping it simply allows you to leave if you’re tired, do something else if it gets interesting, and no one gets hurt when it comes to an end because you didn’t promise anything more. Also, this leaves the other person interested and usually wanting to know more so a second date is almost always in the cards.